Thursday, June 23, 2011

...And that's why you don't take your 3.5 year old for a last minute haircut.

...picture to come..

Last Thursday my parents were meeting me and the 3 kids in Glens Falls so we could do a quick lunch and they could take Quinn to their house for the weekend. Yea, they're awesome like that, I know I'm blessed (read my previous post regarding going home my own self).

Anywho, Quinn was looooooooong overdue for his summer buzz cut. We do this because he has ridiculously thick and heavy hair (exactly like both of his parents) and you can almost see heat radiating from his head. I called my normal hair place (Contemporary Images- which ROCKS) and they didn't have any spots that morning. I contemplated sending him to his BeeDee and YeYe's house all scruffy, but when another hair place in town said they had an immediate opening, I immediately brought Quinn in.

Problem 1. Not giving Quinn enough notice. With most toddlers, but especially Quinn, great notice must be given when going to do something new or out of the ordinary. Such preparation usually puts off tantrums. Usually. We had little time for notice on this day.

Problem 2. Going somewhere new. This was a problem for both of us. Quinn has had his hair cut before, but not at this place- and I hadn't ever been there either. The place was kind of loud and cluttered and she told Quinn he could have a lollipop when he was done.

Problem 3. I didn't bring a lollipop with me for him.

Problem 4. I didn't tell the lady to shove it and give him one anyway.

Problem 5. He wanted to sit on my lap but didn't want to wear an apron and the lady was all anal about him getting covered with hair. I almost screamed "JUST CUT THE FUC*ING KIDS HAIR, I'LL VACUUM HIM OFF!" I told her I didn't care 900 times, then she calmed down- but I needed a Xanax.

Problem 6. He was figety and she clearly didn't cut kids' hair as often as she may have thought she did.

Problem 7. I didn't tell her to give him a lollipop.....again

Problem 8. The Coup d'├ętat. She finished the back and sides of his head and moved to the top, changing the guard on the clippers. She put the clippers down on his head. AT. WHICH. POINT. the guard FELL TO THE FUC*ING FLOOR and left a nearly BALD spot on the top of his head...a roughly 2.5 inch square.

She instinctively said "oh, he jumped!" forgetting that he was sitting on my lap and he, certainly, did not jump. He moved, but not enough to knock the guard off....And, if he had jumped, he wouldn't have a bald spot the size of a frog.

I took a deep breath and told her to finish normal and we'd deal with the bald spot later. I did not, in fact, lose my shit on her because, what would that do? The hair. was. gone. She felt horrible, insisting it would fill in in a week or two (we're on week 1 and there's almost a shadow).

She said she wasn't going to charge me and I wanted to say "damn straight, you should PAY ME!" but I said "thank you, it's ok, it's ok...." maybe I was trying to convince myself it was ok?

Either way it's over. And I doubt I'll go back.

Lessons to take away from this ill-fated mission?

1. Notice, notice notice.

2. In the absence of notice: lollipops, lollipops, lollipops

3. In the absence of both of these? Reschedule.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Family and Funny Stories

Hi Readers!

Let me say, first, that I am SO looking forward to this weekend. I will be heading- by MYSELF- to my parents' house for the weekend. Why, you might ask? BECAUSE! No, all kidding aside, I was supposed to go to the Cornell Reunion but that was going to cost a few hundred dollars that I don't have. This was going to be my birthday present, a weekend away- alone. Then I thought, why not go to my parents' house? I can actually RELAX there and get a free meal or two ;) (because parents are awesome like that).

This all started last Labor Day weekend. I was supposed to go to a friends baby shower, but she ended up having the baby VERY early (everyone is fine now). Since I had planned to go away anyway, I went to my parents' and had a BALL.

1. My parents are still together. They've been married for almost 31 years and have been together longer (since HIGH SCHOOL).

2. They're not idiots (despite how this blog may have read if blogs existed when I was in high school).

3. They're young, and awesome and I love them AND LIKE THEM EVEN! lol.

4. They live in the house I grew up in and there's a bed in my "old bedroom" that my mom now uses for her sewing room.

All kidding aside, there's nothing more comforting then going "home"and getting to be the kid for a weekend, even if you're 28. Bonus, my parents have awesome friends (like I've mentioned before) and I'll get to see some of them. AND GO TO TRADER JOE'S AND THE KICKASS FARMER'S MARKETS AROUND!

Moving on.

While I still don't understand Quinn- he's hilarious. He says things that make me laugh on a daily basis. This is what happens when you're learning a new language and you know no other language haha. We were outside yesterday and he was pointing out shapes. He pointed to the bedroom window and said (I'm going to type it exactly the way it came out of his mouth),

"That is the shape of a square....And there's the rocks...We have to jump over the stones to get the monkey away from the drum." (moving on to a stick in his hand) "This is like a saxaphone (twwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet tweeeeeeeet) oh, this look like a dog.......this look like a wide-mouth bullfrog (tweeeeeeeeeeeet tweeeeeeeeeeet)......."MOMMY! LOOK, THE FLYING DRAGONS!" (dragonflies)

The end.