Wednesday, November 5, 2008
*I encourage the other mommies who read this to respond with things they've learned from their kid(s), no matter what age!
I decided to write this retrospective after listening to my over-tired 9 month old cry in hysteria yesterday fighting his nap, and I stood my ground by not going in to pick him up. He didn't need to be held, he needed to be napping :).
1. I'm much less convenience oriented than I thought I would be: I sacrificed time to pump breast milk for my son who wouldn't latch on, so he would get the best food that was MADE FOR HIM. I've blogged about pumping before. It's certainly a great thing, but it's extremely exhausting at times. In order to keep the supply up, you need to pump when the baby eats so your body knows how much milk to make. Also, I make 80-90 percent of his food. I buy fresh and frozen fruits and veggies and puree them up. I buy mostly organic (frozen organic is WICKED cheap) and that way I can control what is in his food. I do use disposable diapers, but am considering changing that for baby 2 since they make all in one (AIO) cloth diapers…more to come on that in the future.
2. I'm MUCH more patient than I thought I was: While I sometimes find myself living from deep breath to deep breath, I certainly DON'T find myself as externally frazzled as some first-time parents I have come across. I attribute that to MANY things. 1. A supportive extended family. My mother stayed with us for like a month after Quinn was born. Scott and I handled all Quinn duties and my mother helped with laundry and feeding us, it was heavenly. My sister-in-law was great about giving me much-needed intelligent conversation when I needed it most and my brother, as usual, was there for comic relief. My dad and father-in-law provided encouragement from afar. My father being in China and my cute father-in-law terrified of newbie babies hung in the background. 2. (Which is technically 1) AN AMAZING HANDS-ON HUSBAND! Scott got right in there with baby care from day one and hasn't slowed since. Well..you know..he IS a man but he's better than nearly all I've seen :)He'll do baths, bottles, diapers, WHATEVER. **Simply put, my patience is a function of NEVER FEELING ALONE!** If you're ever going to have a baby, make sure you have a support system of ANY kind (friends, family, etc.)- you need it!
3. (extension of 2) Having a baby wasn't the Earth-destroying event so many think or say it is. Certainly in those first 6 weeks of sleeping in shifts Scott and I got snippy with each other, but lack of sleep does that. I think what really saved us was we planned Quinn. We discussed children and decided it was time, and we had 9 whole months to prepare as much as possible. We faced some cold hard facts which helped the transition: 1. You will lose a SIGNIFICANT amount of sleep (especially the first 6-8 weeks). Get over that fact early and move on. Period. 2. The lack of sleep won't last forever, but it DOES matter what kind of baby you have and what kind of parents you are. If you choose not to slowly ease into a structured schedule then expect the random acts of sleep to continue ;) 3. Babies bring SO MUCH JOY that it totally outweighs walking in to walls at 3:15 am…yep, I've checked, 3:15 am does actually exist…and 4. We wanted a kid, that comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly that they have to offer. Period.
4. The world is big, wonderful, beautiful, and terrifying. When your LO (little one) begins exploring the world on his own (by looking, grabbing, crawling, etc.) you relearn the world with him. It's an amazing thing to find joy in the funny texture of the carpet or the wagging tail of a fat old pug. It's also horrifying to realize what they want to put in their mouths, AH! I've learned to control as much as I can (put organic things in your mouth and that makes me happy, hehe) and pray for what I can't. I don't mind if he eats dirt, I welcome germs because I want him to have a good immune system. However I don't welcome kitty litter, pieces of paper, old food, staples, nails, electrical cords, dirty diapers, garbage, and actually EATING the tail of the fat old pug. Again, we must take the good with the bad on this one.
5. I love being a mommy and can't wait to do it again. Don't you worry, people have ALL KINDS OF OPINIONS ON ADDITIONS TO YOUR FAMILY. Not only do people have that unwanted pregnancy and newborn advice I blogged about in the past, people (often the same people) have advice on raising your kids (which is usually more unbiased than the pregnancy and newborn advice-usually) but they also love to suggest when and how you increase (or choose not to increase) your family. Here are some popular quotes that I will close this list with
*"Have all of your babies right away, then the diapering and formula stage is over with sooner."
*"Ugh, you want another baby ALREADY? Don't you think that's a little soon* (No I don't, thank you. I know it will have its challenges but it will have its joys as well- good day)
*"One kid is just sooo easy" or "I wish I had more than one"
*"2 kids is horrendous" "(insert any number) is wonderful/horrendous/etc."
--You get the picture :)
Well gang, I hope you've enjoyed this installment; it's certainly helped me reflect on the joys of mommyhood. Yes, Scott and I plan to start trying for another baby next year sometime. Due to my job it would be irresponsible of me to have a baby between April and July (maybe August) so we like to plan these things and, as we did with Quinn, just see what happens ;)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Before the birth of Jesus Christ, the world was literally a dark and scary place. God sent Jesus that Humanity (yes, with a capital “H”) might be saved for all time. Jesus IS the light in darkness.
Let’s think about this: is it any surprise that the Christian year begins in the late fall, with all of its dark undertones, and many people in the world feel dark and down in the late fall? I think not. Seasonal Affective Disorder could more aptly be named Sensing Apocalypse Disorder. Our souls, which hold pieces from the beginning of all time, remember this dark time before Christ and they cry out for the Christmas season so that Jesus may be born again and he may walk among us. The falling leaves, bitter cold weather, and general death of nature around us are all visual signals of the world long ago, a world before Christ.
Rev. Guthrie goes on to say,
“During the rest of the time, during the other seasons, prayer does not seem so urgent. Still, I practice this prayer in Advent for that end time, that last crucial breath. I want to learn to pray so that my last moment might be prayer and not a hollow gasp. When I pray for God to rend the heavens and come down, when the skies open for the last time and the Son of man comes on clouds from the horizon, I want to look with longing, not fear, toward the horizon.” (p. 5)
While the soul may instinctively recoil in to a state of prayer, as discussed previously, we must LEARN to pray continuously. We must learn to pray for and during the best and worst of times. Learning to pray certainly does not mean learning fancy languages and postures. Learning to pray means to train your soul to give praise and thanks, and to pray effectively during times of darkness.
The world of prayer isn’t simply “…Dear God….thank you…amen” or “…Dear God…please…thank you…amen” The world of prayer is so much more than that. The world of prayer is much more beautiful, satisfying, and exciting. All of these things we will learn as we continue through “Grace’s Window.”
We must learn it because, as Rev. Guthrie states, “the threat of apocalypse awakens the most radical call to prayer.” (p.4)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Grace’s Window Discussion 1
"Prayer arises out of the awareness of mortality, rather than the promise of eternal life. Praying begins not so much as a response to a secret, inner spiritual call, but rather to the worldly threat of change, personal cataclysm, or impending death. The soul recoils into a state of prayer. Prayer begins not so much in piety as in panic." (p. 4)
Can I get an amen to that? Lol. How many of us start or finish each day in prayer? How many of us pray throughout the day for things good and bad? Even I, a Christian my whole life, have tended NOT to pray constantly. I wait until something bad happens; perhaps an illness, death, a struggle for a friend in finances or relationships, or a personal struggle in those areas. Praying seems to have become a last resort. "Well, nothing left to do but pray." We need to flip that on its ear. We should pray immediately when facing darkness of ANY kind. That should be our first, middle, and last line of defense.
A friend of mine had a baby in May and he was VERY sick for 3-4 months. She and I have spoken about the power of prayer in relation to her son and she agreed it saved his life. All the cards in every deck in the world were stacked against this little boy. By all medical and logical accounts, according to my friend, she would have put him to bed one specific night and he wouldn't have woken up, the doctors would have labeled it SIDS- but it wasn't. This little boy's mother, father, family and friends KNOW deep within our souls that the strong Prayer and Faith saved his life. There is simply NO medical explanation for his surviving and thriving. Period.
Now that he seems to be out of the woods one might think the prayers could end because the danger is over. However we need to continue to pray for his health and PRAISE his health.
This example is meant to show that while our souls recoil "into a state of prayer" during times of panic, we must praise and pray constantly. We must be thankful the 364 days other than Thanksgiving. Start each day saying "Thank you for this day" and end each day the same way.
Positive energy out-put reaps positive energy.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Grace's Window is a book written by a former priest of mine, the Chaplain of the Episcopal Church at Cornell, Suzanne Guthrie. Suzanne has been the single greatest Christian influence in my life. I picked up this book when I graduated (2005) and am JUST reading it now.
The full title is "Grace's Window: Entering the Seasons of Prayer"
The back of the book says this:
"Suzanne Guthrie teaches us about the seasons of prayer by letting us enter her own. In these forty meditations from Advent through Pentecost, she weaves together her mystical wareness of the presence of God and the experiences of childhood and childbirth, ministry and housekeeping, summer firestorms and family life, suffering and dying. For Guthrie, ordinary life is a window of grace into the holy, where nothing is wasted because everything teaches us the art of prayer."
As I read I will share paragraphs and quotes (some will be religious and some will be good no matter who you are!). It's a Mommy Diaries Bookclub, if you will ;)
I mean, really. Growing up I'm pretty sure that would be the nastiest thing I could have happen during the day, feces on MY HANDS!
Let's see...could it be several months ago in some sleep induced haze when I was trying to change a diaper and he twitched just right, smearing my hand in poop?Possibly.
Or, I think maybe one just gets to a point as a parent where there are worse things than poop. And throw up.
The challenge is remembering to have the hand sanitizer near by.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Mommy Diaries: Climbing out of the valley
In order to climb out of this valley that I'm in, I will post Bible verses that have helped me in the past and I'm counting on to help me again. I'll try to do this once a week. IF you have a favorite verse you want to share, add it in the comments or email me to post it next time!
My first and most most most favorite is the first and only (to date) verse I have memorized. lol. I memorized it maybe in 8th grade?
He replied, "Because you have so little faith [ye of little faith]. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you"
How great is that?! If we hold on to a shred of faith in the middle of darkness and call upon it- we can be pulled out. God is good!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Scott, Quinlan, and I have come to Belchertown for the weekend to visit with family and retreat to some nice Fall weather before winter sets in in Lake Placid-yick!
I was just thinking today as I was watching Quinn sleep: I wonder if any baby in the entire world has ever been loved as much as Quinn is.
Let me back up.
We spent this evening at my grandparents house, and it was my aunt's birthday yesterday so we had a nice dinner and a cake. My grandmother made a great ziti-like cassarole and we had wings from the Hangar (which is the same company as "Wings over Ithaca" for those who have had the pleasure).
Either way, we were all sitting at dinner and I took a minute to pause and realize how lucky we all at the table were to be able to eat with 4 generations. My grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my brother and cousins and, of course, my son.
All eyes were on Quinn, of course, whose laughter filled the room and I couldn't think of a better sound. That's when it struck me- love.
There have surely been many dinners and many birthday cakes over the years where the family has focused on the newest addition to the family. Certainly I remember especially when my twin cousins were born-as they were severely premature and clung to life at just over 2 pounds. I remember just ADORING them and thinking nothing in life could be so wonderful.
Enter-Quinn. Something in life can be MORE wonderful (to me).
So, I know there have been babies as loved as he is, but certainly not more ;) And, it makes me happy to know that generations from now my family, some of whom I will never meet, will sit around a meal and a birthday cake listening to the soul-filling laughter of their newest addition in awe, wondering if there's ever been a baby so loved.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
So last night I had another one of those dreams. The recurring dream with a former best friend. This time it was a happy one. I was home in Belchertown and I ran in to her. At first I was hesitant and wanted to run and hide but I thought, what the hell if she hates me she hates me. She turned around with a huge smile on her face and said "HI! I'm so glad to see you!" I noticed her hair was gorgeous and she looked generally happy. This is all weird. Also, she was shorter than I. She's 4 inches taller than I am....Maybe by letting go of the negative feelings I've come out on top, appearing taller than she is?
Friday, September 19, 2008
Right now it's 830am, but I started this blog last night after Quinn was asleep so, it's kind of a bedtime musing ;)
Well. Sitting up alone and TEETH have arrived! Quinn can sit up on his own for quite some time before succumbing to gravity, and his 2 bottom front teeth broke through the gums sometime between Friday night and Saturday afternoon.
In roughly 2 weeks he'll be 8 months old and it's just a little too close to one year old for my comfort! Last year at this time I sat and stared at the calendar, waiting for October 4th. I was waiting for October 4th because that was the date of the ultrasound where we would find out the sex-yay! My parents came up and it was their anniversary and we all found out it was indeed a Quinlan growing in there! I was kind of showing by that point, but some may have just thought I was bloated.
Now…a year later….Quinn's a full-blown food eating-teeth cutting-almost crawling-sleeping through the night-human.
Scott and I are starting to talk about baby 2. LOL. Yes, it's true. We're waiting until Quinn's first birthday to come up with a game plan, but we'd like to have another one by the time Quinn is 2. This is simply because we're not sure if we want 2 or 3 and I want to be done having kids by 30…so…2 years apart it'll be. And, I've heard if you have 2 under 2 you won't have 3 so…hahahahah
Anyway, I'll sit here and continue to ponder the last 8 months and make a plan to lose the rest of the weight I'm going to lose by Quinn's 1st birthday so that way I can gain it all again. Hahahah.
Bedtime Musings:Between working full time outside of the home AND full time inside of the home, the only way I'll get back to blogging full time is to do it after bedtime, every night. This will allow me to re-cap the day. He goes to bed between 630 and 700 but he's taking a late nap right now so here I write...
I need to discuss a semi-recurring dream I have. I had a best friend in high school. We were friends from 9th grade until..well I'm not exactly sure when it all dissolved but we no longer speak....as in the passive aggressive she won't add me as a friend on myspace or facebook kind of we no longer speak........
She appears in my dreams like once a month. Dreams are your brain processing events, thinking about events, or wishing for events. And all of those are covered here. Last night....and I sit here at 5pm and it's still vivid...We ran in to each other at the grocery store. Her friend told me that after what her uncle told her she couldn't be my friend.
I was confused. Probably because I'm not sure I've ever met an uncle and...quite frankly...I don't know what I did that was so horrible at the age of 17, 18, or 19 that at the age of 25 she can't say hi, or congratulate me on my new family, or let me congratulate her on her successes.
My parents see her parents and exchange pleasantries but that's about it....I just needed to get that off of my chest.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Work has been really busy, just the way I like it. And, Scott and I have been busy with a little boy who's eating mushy food and rolling all over the house!
Baby Update: Quinn's been eating "solids" for about 2 months. "They" say not to start solids until 6 months but "they" don't know all babies. Ha. At his 4 month check up I informed the ped (pediatrician) that he was drinking 40 ounces a day with rice cereal in the bottle. We were given the go ahead to try rice cereal by the spoon, in a thick cream consistency, to get him in the habit of not inhaling everything put in his mouth.
Then came the bananas, apples, oatmeal, mixed grain, prunes, pears, greenbeans, peas, carrots, sweet potato, yam, and just today he'll be trying yellow squash. Later this week I'll be trying him with zucchini.
I make his food and I try to buy as much organic as possible because he's such a little human! Yep, I'm a tool. I have Gerber food on hand for if I run out or for convenience of travelling, etc, but it's mostly Organic. Yes, I meant that capital "O." I figure he has plenty of time to put whatever he wants in to his own body so I'll give him the best I can. Even buying organic fruits and veggies to make food is still cheaper than buying the jarred or containered baby food. Yes, container just became an adjective...or is it an adverb?????
Anyway, Quinn's also close to crawling. Close as in he rolls around, lifts himself up on his forearms, and can get on his knees. Then he does this inchworm move that turns in to Downward-Facing Dog. Maybe he's a yoga prodigy...whatevs.
This weekend, Sunday in fact, my little bro graduates from college. What the hell! I literally remember playing with him when he was in his crib...Jesus. Shoutout to Brian, Big B, Bigs, BigsB, Fey, Holmes, Holmesy, Holy, Brianna on a job well done!
My little bro is an adult and my son is 6 months old- what's happening?!?!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Yep. Today is my (self promotion ahead) birthday. Happy birthday to me! I am 25…Yep…a quarter century. Or, an eighth of 2 centuries if you’re feeling ambitious.
Interesting things that happened in 1983 (pay attention to all of the nuclear testing going on) include (courtesy of www.brainyhistory.com) :
January 4 U.S. Football League holds its 1st player draft
January 15 Thom Syles keeps a life saver intact in his mouth for over 7 hours
January 18 IOC restores Jim Thorpe's Olympic medals 70 years after they were taken from him for being paid $25 in semipro baseball
January 23 "A-Team" with Mr. T premieres on NBC
January 24 Hulk Hogan pins Iron Sheik for World Wrestling Federation title
January 29 40th Golden Globes: Gandhi, ET and Tootsie win
February 1 U.S.S.R. performs underground nuclear test (and on 2/24, 3/2, 3/30, 4/12, 9/24)
February 7 1st female secretary of transportation, Elizabeth Dole, sworn-in
February 17 Netherlands adopts constitution
February 21 Donald Davis runs 1 mile backwards in 6 minutes 7.1 seconds
February 26 Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album goes to #1 and stays #1 for 37 weeks
March 1 Tornado tears through LA, injuring 33 people
March 21 Only known typo on Time Magazine cover (control=contol), all recalled
March 23 U.S. president Ronald Reagan introduces "Star Wars" missile defense plan (SDI)
March 26 U.S. performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site (and on 4/13, 5/5, 5/26, 8/3, 8/27, 9/21, 12/9
April 1 Anti-nuke demonstrators link arms in 14-mile human chain in England
April 5 France throws out 47 Soviet diplomats
April 5 New York Met Tom Seaver's sets record 14th NL Opening Day assignment
April 7 Oldest human skeleton, aged 80,000 years, discovered in Egypt
April 14 President Reagan signs $165 billion Social Security rescue
April 17 India entered space age launching SLV-3 rocket
April 17 Nolan Ryan strikes out his 3,500th batter
April 18 12th Boston Women's Marathon won by Joan Benoit Samuelson in 2:22:43
April 18 87th Boston Marathon won by Greg Meyer of Mass in 2:09:00
April 19 France performs nuclear test (and 5/25, 8/4
April 22 Great Britain performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
April 25 France performs nuclear test at Muruora Island (and on 7/20, 12/7
April 26 Dow Jones Industrial Avg breaks 1,200 for 1st time
May 3 Soviet leader Andropov decreases nuclear weapons in Europe
May 3 U.S. bishops condemn nuclear weapons
May 4 China PR performs nuclear test at Lop Nor PRC (and on 10/6
May 11 Comet C/1983 H1 (IRAS-Araki-Alcock) approaches 0.0312 AUs of Earth
May 13 Reggie Jackson is 1st major leaguer to strike out 2,000 times
May 17 Israel and Lebanon sign a peace treaty
May 18 Senate revises immigration laws, gives millions of illegal aliens legal status under an amnesty program
May 30 AL President Lee MacPhail suspends Yankees owner George Steinbrenner for one week, for his public criticism of umpires
June 8 "Trading Places," "Ghostbusters," and "Gremlins," premieres
June 11 Don Genalo needs just 3 of 5 pins to win Southern California Open bowling tournament, miscalculates his score and intentionally gutters his ball
June 11 "Faithfully" by Journey peaks at #12
June 15 Supreme Court struck down state and local restrictions on abortion
June 18 7th Shuttle Mission-Challenger 2 launched-Sally Ride 1st U.S. woman
June 22 1st time a satellite is retrieved from orbit, by Space Shuttle
June 22 "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life," released in France
June 22 NHL institutes a 5 minute sudden death overtime period
July 5 Woman gives birth to baby 84 days after brain death in Roanoke, Virginia
July 21 Polish government ends 19 months of martial law
July 25 1st non-human primate, baboon, conceived in a lab dish, San Antonio
July 26 Light flashes seen on Jupiter moon Io
July 28 U.S.S.R. performs nuclear Test at Eastern Kazakh/Semipalitinsk U.S.S.R.
(and on 9/11, 10/26, 11/29, 12/26
August 4 While warming up before 5th inning Yankee Dave Winfield accidentally kills a seagull
August 18 U.S.S.R. performs nuclear test at Novaya Zemlya U.S.S.R. (9/25,
August 21 110 degrees F (43 degrees C) at Fayetteville, North Carolina (state record)
September 1 Korean Boeing 747 strays into Siberia and is shot down by a Soviet jet
September 6 U.S.S.R. admits to shooting down KAL 007 on 9/2
September 9 Radio Shack announces their color computer 2 (Coco2)
September 12 U.S.S.R. vetoes United Nations resolution deploring its shooting down of Korean plane
September 14 U.S. House of Representatives votes, 416 to 0, in favor of a resolution condemning Russia for shooting down a Korean jetliner September 15 Cops beat to death Michael Stewart for graffiting New York City subway
September 16 Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes a U.S. citizen
October 2 Carl Yastrezemski's last at bat
October 25 U.S. invades Grenada, a country 1/2,000 its population (U.S. Wins!)
October 31 Ron Grant completes a 217 day, 8,316 mile run around Australia
November 2 President Reagan signs a bill establishing Martin L. King day November 3 Jesse Jackson launches his 1st campaign for presidency
November 9 Amsterdam brewer Freddie Heineken kidnapped
November 10 Federal government shut down
November 11 1st U.S. cruise missiles arrive in Great Britain
November 11 President Reagan became 1st U.S. President to address Japan's legislature
November 20 100 million watch ABC-TV movie "Day After," about nuclear war
November 23 U.S.S.R. leave weapon disarmament talks
November 24 PLO exchanges 6 Israeli prisoners for 4,500 Palestinians and Lebanese
November 30 Police free kidnapped beer magnate Alfred Heineken in Amsterdam
November 30 Radio Shack announces Tandy Model 2000 computer (80186 chip)
December 13 9,655 see highest-scoring NBA game: Detroit 186, Denver 184 (3 OT)
December 15 3 Kansas City Royals suspended due to cocaine usage
December 16 Yogi Berra named Yankee manager for 2nd time
December 23 Journal Science publishes 1st report on nuclear winter December 25 1st live telecast of Christmas Parade
Friday, April 25, 2008
The 80’s song “Only the Lonely” by The Motels is playing in my office which reminded me I wanted to blog about this. The group performed this song at “the prom” on TV Land’s “High School Reunion.” (HSR)
During the second half of my maternity leave I became addicted to TV Land’s “High School Reunion.” It’s a reality show filmed over 2 weeks I believe. They pick a high school from somewhere in the country and a class that graduated 20 years ago. They bring on some “typical” superlative holders and throw them in a house in Hawaii for 2 weeks.
The one I watched aired beginning March 5th and featured the 1987 graduating class of J.J. Pearce High School in Dallas Texas. The “cast” is as follows
DeAnna- The Popular Girl
Steve- The Backstabber (slept with his best friend Mike’s wife, Lana)
Cheryl- The Outsider
Yvette- The Girl Next Door
Glenn- The Geek (bullied by Jason)
Heather- The Heartbreaker
Jason- The Bully (to Glenn)
Justin- The Pipsqueak (and super hot today I might add)
Kat- The Lesbian
Kristin- The Spoiled Girl (formerly engaged to and currently reunited with Sean)
Lana- The Drama Queen (yes, the cheater with Steve)
Rob- The Stud (though “Robbie Sparks” seems to come out easier-his full name)
Sean- The Millionaire
Matt- The Jock
Mike- The Rebel (formerly married to Lana and former best friends with Steve)
ON the outset I’d like to refer you to my “Friends” list on MySpace. Many of the cast of HSR have pages and they’re on my friends list. I’d like you to read Glenn’s Blog. He wrote a blog during the show that was on the TV land website. However, he continues his blog on his MySpace page and has an EXCELLENT blog about being bullied by Jason in high school. This HSR blog will just discuss Glenn, Jason, and bullying. I’ll blog about the rest of the show later.
When Glenn showed up to the reunion he confronted Jason. He told Jason what he did, how Jason hurt him, and demanded that Jason admit his wrongdoings and apologize in front of the rest of the gang. Jason did. He was ashamed and he and Glenn became friends outside the show once they realized how much they had in common. Glenn blogged a shocker. He said that at the end of the show (it wasn’t shown on TV) Jason had the show fly his family to Hawaii to meet Glenn. Jason explained to his boys what he did to Glenn in high school and why it was wrong. Wow…talk about a turnaround.
I was never bullied or picked on in school. If I was teased it was for always raising my hand in class. I guess my “superlative” if I were on High School Reunion would be “The Teacher’s Pet.”
While I was never picked on, my brother was. He was 3 years younger than me and, until high school, was picked on/bullied because of his weight. He would cry at night in his bedroom because he was called fat or (insert any variation here) during the school day. Just talking about it writing about it makes my blood boil. There were times where I confronted the sh*tforbrains about their actions and they nearly peed themselves. Through all of it, as far as I know, my brother never shouted a mean word back. He took it all in because he knew “two wrongs don’t make a right.” And, quite frankly, he could have caused physical damage if he wanted to.
As middle school turned in to high school, my brother reconciled formally or informally with these asses, became a class officer, and became rather popular. Fast forward- he’s about to graduate college, has had a wicked successful college career and, on yea, he’s lost like 80 pounds and is a runner.
While he appears to have let it go, there are still kids that tick me off when I see them. We are all well in to our twenties at this point and I still want to punch them in the head….I suppose I should get over it but LORD.
As a mother I realize that, in fact, the bullying at such a young age had roots with their parents. Kids at the age of 7,8,9 have no other basis for how to treat people than what they see around them in their family. Somewhere along the way they learned that it was OK to talk to and treat people that way. They didn’t make it up. My parents always taught us to treat people with respect in both actions and with our words.
Quinn will be taught the dying art of RESPECT. Respect yourself. Respect your family. Respect others.
In the face of adversity, do not cast the second stone.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
All at once a four letter word and as trendy as an iPod, it seems.
I have two friends that got married in May of last year who are getting a divorce. Well, let’s be honest, she is one of my best friends and he’s more of “someone I know.” My husband is closer friends with him than he is with her. Thus, we discuss their divorce very little. Anyway. They’re 26. I’ll give you all a minute to collect yourselves, judge, and whatever before I discuss my thoughts on divorce today, especially in our “young” population.
They way I see it, a divorce is only as tragic as the expectations the marriage failed to meet.
When I first met this couple they, well, weren’t. They had just gone through an icky breakup in the summer of 2004. I didn’t pay too much attention to the details of the breakup as I was just meeting everyone, but I know there were outside parties involved, yadda yadda so the story goes.
My friend then went on to start dating a guy she later became engaged to, but in the winter of 2006 they broke off their engagement and she started dating her ex.
I know what many of you are thinking. “I bet she was with her ex all along, or at least near the end.” You know what? Maybe. Maybe not. She’s my friend and I’ve never compromised her integrity by directly asking her about any potential infidelity. If she were to ever offer the information, I’d take it. However, she hasn’t so I am to side with my friend and assume that these were two separate relationships, regardless of what I think I might have done in the situation. And, frankly if she told me she was with him while she was engaged, so what. It’s her life. We shouldn’t try to run the lives of others while we, as Americans, clearly have enough trouble running our own.
Moving on. She and her ex got back together, moved to his hometown, bought a home, got new jobs, got engaged, and got married in less than a year. To me, that is a LOT of change that would signal disaster for any personal relationships in which I may be involved. Any one of the life events they went through can cause stress alone, but together, for my friend, they formed a perfect storm.
The transition was certainly difficult, as it is with any couple moving in together for the first time AND planning a wedding. And, of course, there were doubts (cold feet) along the way as there is with most engaged couples.
However, on the day of the wedding (love you girl) I knew something was wrong. I could tell by the look on her face (complete terror/nausea) that she had more than excited butterflies, jitters. On May 19th 2007 I knew that she deep deep down knew she was making a mistake. But, I also know that EVEN DEEPER down she thought it would all be ok. Thus, I said nothing. I was a bridesmaid. My job was to support her whether SHE DECIDED to walk down the isle or run in to the road. No matter what you may see on TV shows, it’s never OK to tell your friends they’re making a mistake unless there’s abuse or some other extenuating circumstances involved. To do otherwise is to tell your friend that they have no brain with which to judge and run their own lives.
You, as a friend, only see a certain percentage of the relationship. Just because a couple might bicker a lot in front of you, they may spend the other 80% (give or take) of their time in complete bliss…You NEVER have the whole picture. I don’t think anyone ever really has the whole picture, even if they’re in it. Maybe you see even less when you’re in it…Hmm....earmark that for another day.
The wedding was beautiful and I was hammered during the reception. The following months were filled with difficulty, questions of annulment, and counseling for my two friends. She left a couple of times for long weekends to clear her head. He played the “peeing game” by flirting with girls whether she was there or not. Just a few weeks ago, he left. Left left. Took his clothes, took his money, and left to his parents’ house. Yea…don’t get me started on that part…So, my friend was left realizing this was over. Could she backpedal and not threaten to leave if that was what, in fact, drove him to actually leave? Nope. And, quite frankly, if she could it wouldn’t matter. Why wouldn’t it matter? Their expectations.
I was left wondering, what were their individual expectations upon entering the marriage? She told me she wanted a marriage with children, etc. I never asked him-that’s something you don’t ask guys who aren’t your close friend I guess.
Expectations. I had a friend a long time ago say, “Women enter a relationship expecting to change their partner and men enter a relationship hoping their partner will never change.” I have since lost touch with that friend but I think about that statement CONSTANTLY. It’s so true. Women are, by nature, naggers (or nurturers, however you want to say it). If there are little things that “bother” us we figure we can just change them. My husband will verify this. He says I have a laundry list of things to change about him but he hopes I never change. All except the bitchy part I suppose ;)
So, in the end, my friends’ divorce will only be as tragic as the expectations their marriage failed to meet. Maybe neither one of them will ever fully admit/understand the expectations they had or the other person had. Maybe they can’t be that honest with themselves or each other.
I personally feel they are both better off. They are the same people they were when they broke up in 2004. Expectations of change brought them back together in 2006 and tore them apart, again, in 2008.
Young folks of today please listen. Marriage and divorce aren’t accessories added to our overindulgent 21st century lifestyle. Marriage is an ancient right of passage that has been sacred for all centuries of human culture. Marriage isn’t about the wedding. A wedding is one day, and not a full day at that (and rarely a sober day). Marriage is a lifestyle. Marriage is not a dress, tux, reception, guest list, caterer, open bar (well…), gifts, thank you cards, and invitations. A marriage is love, work, sacrifice, growth, support, partnership, family and eternal.
Love each other, love yourselves, and love your friends.
Love your friends well enough to know their expectations, support their decisions, and catch them when they fall. A true friend spends more time with their ears open and their mouth shut. A truer friend spends more time with their arms open than with their ears and mouth combined.
Monday, April 14, 2008
"Feeding your baby. Bottle? Breast? Both? Neither?!"
This very well could have been part II but I'm glad I waited to post about this because my thoughts and feelings have changed a MILLION times.
I will warn members of my family (little bro) that I will discuss breastfeeding a bit here so, skim at your own risk ;)
There I sat, online at work (as usual...which may get me fired someday, lol), pregnant, and pondering the question that hits pregnant woman at some point during the second tri-mester: "How will I feed my baby?"
Now, this may seem like a simple enough question until you realize that we, especially in the U.S. have a choice. Make that many choices. Breastfeeding was the norm for decades, then it took a backseat in the 70's and 80's only to return again in full force as "THE CHOICE" for infant feeding in the late 20th and early 21st century.
You've certainly seen infant formula commercials where they say "Breast is best" or "breasmilk is best" or some variation on that theme. The idea is that breastmilk IS the best option for your baby as it is literally THEIR food. The mom's body produces this food for the baby filled with antibodies, nutrients, fat, sugar, water, etc.
Here are some pros for breastfeeding:
1. It's free
2. It's convenient (I'll talk more about "convenience" in a minute)
3. It's the perfect food
4. The body does this cool thing. If your baby is coming down with something, when he/she latches on to the boob, the baby's saliva sends a signal via boob and the body will pull the related antibodies and put them in to the milk- no lie!
5. It helps the uterus contract back in to it's pre-pregnancy size
6. It can help the mother lose weight faster due to the calories burned from producing milk.
For me I never wanted to on-the-breast breast feed. For me, it didn't seem convenient. How is it convenient when only one person on the whole planet can feed the baby? How would it be convenient for me to be the only one to wake up for nighttime feedings, to have to schedule my every out-of-the-house move around when the next feeding might be? NO THANKS!
But, recognizing the benefits of breastmilk I wanted to exclusively pump (EP). I wanted to get a double electric breast pump and give my baby breast milk through a bottle so everyone could feed him.
After my c-section the lactation consultant came in and asked if I wanted to try to latch........Of course!..Wait, I thought I wanted to be an EPer?.....In my defense, on morphine you could have gotten me to attempt to latch with a snapping turtle.
2 days later at the hospital, latching was still a nightmare. Even though my water broke I never really went in to labor (hence the c-section). My body hadn't produced enough of the right hormones to go in to labor. These are the same hormones that facilitate milk production. There I was on day 3 of my son's life being told my milk might NEVER come in...NEVER?! what?! Does that happen?
It finally came in the day we got home from the hospital. Luckily babies don't need much food in the first few days because of what they stored up in the womb, but Quinn had had a few feedings of formula. I never even tried latching at home. I didn't need the stress and the expectations placed on me by the hospital or society regarding "Breast is best." That would have been a sure recipe for Post Partum Depression. I was going to pump and bottle feed, and that was that.
It's worked out nicely. 2 and a half months in I'm still producing milk. Quinn got nothing but breastmilk for nearly 3 weeks. Then, as his appetite increased we mixed bottles 1/2 breast milk and 1/2 formula. Formula allows them to go longer between feedings, too. Because breast milk is so easily digested, it passes through faster, requiring more feedings.
Today, my son is approaching 14 pounds, he's nearly 25 inches long and has lovely fat rolls on his body. He now eats 6-7 ounces every 3.5-5 hours. He gets 2 full breast milk bottles a day, followed by formula.
Honestly, I probably could have continued giving him breast milk exclusively, maybe even to this day, but I had to be realistic. I wanted to help him sleep longer through the night to get us all on schedule when I went back to work and I didn't want to be at the pump my whole life. I pump a few times a day and I have about 80 ounces of breast milk in the freezer. I'll add to that periodically to help us transition when I dry up or decide to stop pumping completely. For now, I"m happy knowing he's still getting 30% of his feedings from breast milk.
So, for all of you moms in the future or mothers-to-be. Be realistic. Do your research. Decide what is right for YOU, your baby and your family. I know tons of people that formula feed right from the beginning and I know as many more that breastfeed forEVER. Know that pumping is an option right along with breast and formula. Email me with any questions :)
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
As my husbands birthday on April 4th approached, he "asked" me if I minded that he go to "camp" that weekend with his buddies. I said I didn't mind because my mom was still going to be here so she and I could handle the baby. I really wouldn't have minded if I would have been alone for the weekend with Quinn, but having my mom on hand made "saying yes" a LOT easier!
To my surprise, my mom asked Scott and I if, on that April 4th weekend, she could take Quinlan to Massachusetts to stay at my grandparents house where he would get all kinds of love. This is my Grandma and Grandpa Quinlan, after which our son is named. Scott and I didn't have to think too hard before we said "GO AHEAD!"
Adding some icing on this cake, Scott told me he would be taking the dog with him. This meant one thing.
48 hours ALONE!!!! Me and the cat, to be exact. I haven't had more than an hour or two of ALONE time since like half an hour before my water broke- seriously.
After Friday morning mayhem on the 4th of packing up a baby for a weekend away (yes, they require a weeks worth of goods), saying goodbye to my baby, husband, mother, and dog, that was it- I was alone.
After work I headed to the bookstore and bought "The Letters of John and Abigail Adams." I am obsessed with the "John Adams" miniseries on HBO (that reminds me I must "on demand" this past Sunday's installment) and I headed to Mr. Mike's for a lovely dinner, alone.
For those of you out of the loop, Mr. Mike's is a pizza and Italian restaurant I've worked at on weekends off and on since 2005.
For those of you further out of the loop, it's absolutely OK to eat alone. In fact, I encourage it. I slowly and purposely drank my glass of La Playa Merlot (I don't usually like merlot, but that kind is good), ate my eggplant parmesan (the first time I've had it at Mr. Mike's in the 3 years I've worked there) and read my book.
Then, it hit me- What the HELL did I do with all of my time before?! How, in 24 hours time, could I have squeezed in raising a human being?! I let that thought race through my head for a few more seconds before taking another long, slow, warm sip of my merlot.
I said goodbye to my friends at the restaurant and headed home to do some laundry. No lie. Our new washer and dryer came after the old unit broke and it made me feel accomplished to get a few loads done before heading to watch a movie with our friends Tracy and Meghan. I'll blog about the angelic nature of my absolute savior Meghan later.
What did I do as we were settling in to watch the movie at their house? PASS OUT. I mean down for the count, I woke up when the movie was over. Oh well, after 9 weeks of intermittent sleep, what did anyone expect?
I went home around midnight and slept until 11:30 Saturday morning. Well, I woke up around 8:30 to pump but that's a story for another day. Don't let me forget to blog about "Baby feeding: breast, bottle, both, neither?"
Anyway. Saturday was filled with coffee, 50 degree sunny weather in this frozen tundra, a run, and, thanks to my savior Meghan, a free massage. A whole hour of pure indulgence, followed by dinner of a buffalo chicken wrap and a cosmopolitan...mmmmmmmm cosmopolitans with raspberry vodka should be the national drink or something.
Sunday afternoon was approaching and the orange rind on my carriage was starting to show.
While I thoroughly enjoyed my 48 or so hours as a bachelorette, I desperately missed my husband, my son, and obviously my mother :) Sure, it was nice to sleep when and how long I wanted to. It was nice to come and go as I pleased, just picking up the keys and walking out the door. It was nice to spend as long as I wanted without worrying about feeding times, changing times, nap times, or when Scott was coming or going from work. While all that was nice- it was much nicer knowing I am someones wife and mother. All the free time and extra sleep in the world doesn't compare to the smiling face of my son being carried through the door or the warm embrace of my loving (albeit smelly after camp for the weekend) husband.
Yes. I love my life. Both of them :) And, I hope I don't go too long before I get to hang out with bachelorette Andrea again- she's a wacko.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Thoughts on post-baby body image (body what?), doing the deed, and gassy, floppy babies.
I’m dumbfounded that more than entire month has past since my last post! I kept saying "today I’ll post, today I’ll post." Honestly, it’s probably best that I didn’t then because what you would have read would have been way more incoherent than what you’re about to read.
After a couple of weeks of going to the gym rather regularly I decided to take a minute in front of the mirror before getting in the shower one day. After blankly staring in the mirror for a good minute (a minute is painfully long when standing naked anywhere, let alone in front of a mirror post-baby) I wanted to scream, "Are you KIDDING ME?!?!"
For those of you who know me well, you know I’ve never been skinny, and I’ve only been fat once (which most people from high school missed since it was during my sophomore year of college and I lost it before my junior year thank god). While I’ve never been skinny, I’ve always had a rockin’ stomach. That was my thing. I had booty and thighs but I had a tiny waist and a flat stomach.
Well- pregnancy ruined the ONE thing about my body that I carried proudly. THE ONE THING. Granted- I did not come home from the hospital looking pregnant as I feared via seeing many women suffer that fate, but I was less than excited to see that my stomach now looked as though I had a red roadmap of the United States tattooed all over it.
I’m speaking of Stretchmarks (yes, they earn a capital "s") for those of you assholes who don’t have them.
Now, some of them are very shallow and very small and may actually go away. But, alas, the others will simply fade and become a shiny, sad, medal of honor of some sort. So, the long and the short of it is I’ve joined weight watchers online to assist in reclaiming what was once mine.
Aside from having my stomach, muscles, and uterus cut open to airlift a baby, my new body image and sleep deprivation combined to make a perfect storm- NO LIBIDO!
When my husband first suggested sex I had the luxury of saying "the doctor says not for 6 weeks, my body just went through a trauma." When the 6 weeks were up I had the confidence to look at him, smile and say, "yea..right" When he asked "why?" I simply stared at him as though he just gave birth himself and said "How the HELL could you WANT TO??!?!"
Twice. That is the number of times since February 2nd, 2008 that we’ve "done it." And, really, the first time didn’t count because I held my breath the whole time in prayer that nothing would hurt, smoosh, tear, etc. Men boggle my mind.
At my 8-week check up the midwife said, "What would you like to do for birth control at this point?" I looked her right in the eye and stated, "Absinence."
Well, our little man is now 2 months old as of yesterday. He’s really crossing the threshold and is almost a full blown human! He is eating (drinking) more, sleeping for 4, sometimes 5 hours a time at night, and is...here it comes...SMILING AND GIGGLING!
Some Baby Einstein toy, a smiling sun that plays music and flashes colors, is his official best friend. He stares at it for 30-40 minutes sometimes (which is nearly an eternity when you’re 8 weeks old or a mom cooking dinner quite frankly) and he laughs, makes noises at it, and gives the biggest toothless smile you’ve ever seen.
I never thought, in all my life, that I would fall in love with a person wearing a toothless smile.
This is a big change from roughly 3 weeks ago when Quinn went through 3 days of screaming his head off. Yep 3 days. Maybe it was 4 and I blacked out during one. My mom was here, thank God, because one of those nights he cried for 4 hours. Straight. Screaming. He wasn’t sick, was clean, changed, dry, fed, and not hurt.
After the 3rd (or 4th) day of frantic observation it dawned on me as he was trying to eat. Dear God, my 6 week old has outgrown the newborn nipple on the bottles!
He was trying to eat faster (because he was eating more at this point) and the newborn nipples are designed to be slow-flow for newbies and he had just had it! HE was screaming because he couldn’t get the food out fast enough, then he’d give up and fall asleep after 45 minutes of trying to eat, and then would scream because he was hungry but wouldn’t eat because it was too much effort!
How the hell was I supposed to know before the 11th hour that a nipple designed for a 3 month old was desired by my son 1/2 that age?
Men. They all want bigger nipples than offered.
Quinlan turns 1 month old on March second and I am amazed at how many changes he has undergone in that time. I'm further amazed at the changes in my relationship with my husband and the formation of our FAMILY.
The first week home was strange because I was still recovering from the c-section. However, I did as much as I could during the day as my body pieced itself back together. I'll tell you what, I'm fully ready to recover from a tummy-tuck if I would ever decide to get one because recovery is very similar! ouch!
The first week home was full of sleep deprivation, but it wasn't horrible. My husband and I got in one good bitch fest at each other a day and then we got over it. It's amazing how little sleep one can function on, haha. Quinlan's been sleeping roughly 3 hours at a time at night now. It was less when he was on breast milk alone, but I now mix his bottles with 1/2 breast milk and 1/2 formula so it sticks around in his system longer
The first week...well the first 2 weeks, felt like one long day. Thank GOD my mom was here. The first 2 weeks was full of getting excited over poopy diapers, laughing at my husband as he got peed on during nearly EVERY diaper change, and napping when we could.
For all of you contemplating conception and parenthood, I HIGHLY suggest you seek out a very dedicated family member to stay with you, or at least come over during the day, every day, for the first week-at LEAST the first week. My mom made food and did laundry....it was absolute heaven!!! She stayed until Feb. 19th when we all headed to Massachusetts to introduce Quinn to my family.Cars are lovely. Quinn slept nearly the whole 4 hour ride to Massachusetts.
My grandparents absolutely loved him and it was nice to get out of this icebox excuse for a place to live for a while, lol.
After we returned this past Sunday, it was like our real family life began. It was just me, my husband, and our son...Our family. My husband, bless his soul, has off from work until March 10th and I am off until April 1st. This week M-Th dear Scott let me sleep in and I felt like a bum- AND I LOVED IT! He had the coffee made and the baby fed and down for a nap by the time I got up for the day- SHOUT OUT TO SCOTT!
The nights are getting better. Scott and I alternate getting up for middle-of-the-night feedings. We just nudge each other and say "your turn." Quinlan is in a bassinette in our bedroom right now and that makes things so so much easier! I imagine once he starts sleeping a little longer at night we'll move him in to the crib but I'm happy not wandring through the house at night to get to him.
Among the magical things this week are: 1. Quinn focuses more on objects and faces 2. I am back to going to the gym at LEAST 3x a week (although I can't go full-out until I get clearance at my appt. on 3-24, grr) 3. Scott discovered that Quinn loves to be swung. Since his swing is best for when he can hold his head up, Scott discovered strapping him in to the car seat and swinging him until he falls asleep. He is currently asleep in the carseat in our bedroom now, going on hour 2! 4. I am drinking a Guinness a day to keep my milk supply up- it's true!! look it up!
I promise the next installment will be filled with slightly more sarcasm as I discuss my first real look at my body upon going back to the gym, sexual advances from you know who, gassy babies, and "when are you going to DO something?"
The mprphine drip and percocets caused hazy hospital memories and adjusting to home life caused the last 10 days at home to feel like one!
After being greeted by my family and my son after the c-section, I was officially a mother and my husband and I had a "real" family. I was given a shot of Dilottid (sp?) which is a synthetic morphine and I was in total lala land.I maintained conversation, and was quite chatty with a dry mouth hahaha.
After some meeting and greeting and ooing and ahhing, everyone left. My mother stayed with me so my husband could go home, get a good night sleep, and gather some things I had left at home that I would need for my now longer than planned hospital stay due to the unexpected c-section.
With vaginal deliveries you're in the hospital for 2 nights, and with c-sections you're in there for roughly 4 nights, or until you poop. Yep. That's right. As though I hadn't thrown all my modesty out of the window after 16 hours of labor, prepping via a catheter and shaving for the c-section and attempting to breastfeed in front of my friends (they and I did not care), I was told I couldn't eat solid foods, let alone go home, until they were sure my intestines were "up and running" again after the spinal. yay. I couldn't imagine standing up, let alone standing up to sit down again and do...that...AAANNNYWAY.
The nurses rock. They keep the baby in the nursery so you can get sleep after your long ordeal. They brought Quinlan in when he needed to feed (which isn't that often as fresh newborns are more interested in sleeping and they have food stores to go on for a day or two). So I got some LOOOVELY morphine-induced sleep the first night.
The next morning I asked to NOT have the morphine anymore because I hate feeling so loopey. They laughed at me and told me I'd be moved to Percocet today. Yay- aNOTHER new drug I had yet to try.
Breastfeeding was a giant pain and Quinn never really latched properly, unless with extended help from the lactation consultant. He was 2 weeks early and my milk hadn't yet come in, a bad combo.
My mind was made up- I'd be a pumper. It is really important to me that Quinlan gets breastmilk as long as possible for a variety of reasons that I'll share in a later blog regarding my Exclusive Pumping. If he isn't going to take it from me, I have NO problems pumping and giving it to him in a bottle. Plus-there are wicked benefits to mom with the whole milk-production thing.Brief aside- formula stays in the digestive system longer, meaning newborns on formula USUALLY go 3-4 hours between feedings. Breast milk-eating babies need to eat every 1.5-2.5 hours as newborns. Luckily if Quinn wants to eat every 1.5 hours he does that during the day...He's gone as long as 3 hours at night. yay! Another aside- breast milk babies poop with every feeding because of how easily digested the milk is...yay. lol.
So after a few days, successful intestine start-up, good pediatrician checks, a circumcision, a glass of wine with our "special meal", they said "Tomorrow you guys can go home."Umm......you mean we can't stay HERE forever?!?!
Stay tuned for a more informative Part III as I discuss getting home with our new bundle of joy.
They told us we couldn't stay in the hospital forever.
As many of you know by now, I've had our baby! I'll give quick stats before I dive in to the long birth story. Well, it was long in time, won't take too long to write!Quinlan Kenneth RandallSaturday, February 2nd, 20085:26pm (keep the day and time in mind as you read on)7 pounds 13 ounces21 inches long*absolutely perfect*
My last blog had me convinced I was leaking amniotic fluid, which was evident by the ultrasound I had that day. I had one non stress test on Wednesday, and planned my next one for Saturday morning.
After posting on Wednesday I felt crappy all week, which was unlike the rest of my pregnancy. I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me, although my mother was convinced I "would have that baby by Saturday night."
Friday was a particularly crappy day at work because people were particularly annoying. I finished up everything and just couldn't wait to get home. Scott was working late so I knew I had the house to myself alllllll night-yay! I got home to a very clean house because Scott cleaned in the morning because we were going to have a Superbowl Party at our place on Sunday. I made dinner, did the rest of our laundry, and watched a few episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210 on soapnet. Quite the perfect night for a fully pregnant person.I dozed off to sleep around 10pm.
Scott came home around midnight and was in the living room watching TV. I got up to go to the bathroom and headed out to see him. As I stepped out of the bedroom I felt it...a small gush..At first I thought, "dear GOD have I lost control of EVERY PART of my body?!" I went back to the bathroom to try to empty my apparently still full bladder. As I stood up, a bigger gush....HOLY JESUS MY WATER ACTUALLY BROKE!I ran in to the living room with my pants in hand and said "Honey, we gotta go!" It took him a few good minutes of staring at me and my pants before he got up and slowly walked toward me. My heart was racing-this was real.
Let me inform you that Friday was the worst weather day in weeks in Lake Placid and we joked that we couldn't go in to labor that day...ooooh how the gods work...
The drive to Saranac Lake was completely silent, completely icy, and completely wet.
We checked in to the hospital at 12:30am on Friday night/Saturday morning and I got all hooked up to the monitors. I was having infrequent, irrelevant contractions at that point so the nurse suggested I get some sleep. I was 2cm dilated and sleeping away.9:00am rolls around-still 2cm. They started me on Pitocin to get my contractions a rolling and they gave me a bag of antibiotic since my water had broken so long ago. The pitocin got the contractions stronger and closer together...for a short while. Then my uterus decided to take a break. Marcy, our nurse, even said, "do you HAVE a uterus?" LOL.
My contractions went from regular to nearly non existent and back and forth again. 5 hours later I was 3cm...not the kind of progress you like when you're supposed to dilate 1cm an hour...An hour later-3cm...The doctor said "I'll give you one more hour and then if you're insistent on staying at 3 we'll have to talk about something else." lol.
One hour later.....3cm..This brings us to 4:00pm on Saturday...Nearly 16 hours after my water broke. It was time for a c-section. By then I was so ready to see our baby I didn't care if he was squeezed out or airlifted out.Mr. Anesthesiologist came in and rocked my world. It wall happened so fast. My mom opted to come in to the O.R. with me because my dear husband would have been useless and passed out on the floor.
I get in to the OR, they stick a needle in my spine and away we went. Keep in mind, I have NEVER had any kind of surgery before so feeling my feet go numb up to my chest nearly sent me in to a panic attack. But I gathered myself only because I didn't want them to put me under-that would've been awful. My mom came in and in less than 5 minutes my baby boy came screaming in to the world.
He was born at 5:26pm, 4 minutes shy of 17 hours after being admitted to the hospital. My mom held my hand and talked me through the rest of the surgery. She has had 2 c-sections and watched the whole thing. She told me what they were doing, where they were stitching, etc.
The first time I heard Quinlan scream I lost it. My abdomen was still open and I lay there crying, completely unaware that people were still digging around inside my body. I got to see him for a few minutes, then the wheeled him out to dad while they put me back together. It was my doctors birthday as well!
My hour in the recovery room was dandy. They had me on dilottid (sp?) which is a synthetic morphine. For someone that doesn't even use cough drops, I was in my glory.
I was wheeled in to my room, greeted by my husband, mom, brother, and 2 close friends who were with us allll day. Last but certainly most, I was greeted by my little boy.
I am a 24 (soon to be 25) year old married (to 26 year old Scott) mother of one two-month old bundle of joy named Quinlan. His name is my mother's maiden name.
We live in Lake Placid, NY, otherwise known as the place too cold for hell to freeze over. Yes, it's the Lake Placid that hosted two winter olympics, including the "Miracle on Ice." Yes, it's the Lake Placid that hosts hockey tournaments nearly year-round to "hockey families" from Massachusetts, Connecticut, and (worst of all) New Jersey.Those are blogs for another day my friend. Ps- there are no homicidal reptiles in our waters.
My "Mommy Diaries" is a blog I host on my Myspace.com page. However, not everyone has, or wants to have, a myspace page, but (trust me) everyone wants to read this. So I will post my blogs on my myspace page and here on blogspot-except on here you'll find me at mondernmomsdiaries because mommydiaries was taken- I otta check it out.
I'll take the next few minutes to copy and paste my "Mommy Diaries" installments from myspace to catch all of you up.